Wedding Budget: Coordinating Multiple Parties with Ease

By Cherie Johnson

Photo from / freedigitalphotos.net

For husbands-and-brides-to-be with large, extended families, they often find that both sets of parents, and perhaps even grandparents, want to chip in to help defray the soaring cost of today's weddings, which, on average, come in at a whopping $20,000. Many couples, too, are electing to pick up the rest of the slack. Corralling so many people who want to help with the wedding budget can be a virtual nightmare though. Before simply accepting their good wishes and checks, the very first thing you should do is sit down with your fiance and chart a course of action to ensure you've covered every element of your wedding that requires a significant contribution. Planning a wedding with a budget in mind comes down to knowing what you're looking for in terms of venue, vendors and necessities -- this, however, can be easily put to rest with a systematic budget planning roadmap.

Planning a Wedding with a Budget in Mind
An itemized wedding budget detailing the specifics -- such as the dress, food/drinks, venue, flowers and band -- will ensure you've covered all the major aspects of your wedding day.

At the top of your worksheet, spreadsheet or what have you, list what you've decided is a reasonable amount to spend on the wedding. On the left hand side, make each specific and significant element that you must or would like to have a line item. For instance, the ceremony, which encompasses the venue/place of worship, wedding officiant and any licenses would be listed here. Decide on a true and honest estimate of what you're willing to spend planning a wedding on a budget, and then at a later day, add what you actually spent so that you can keep accurate track of your finances. Other items in the left hand column should consist of things such as the reception (food/drinks, cake, favors, venue, etc.); wedding attire (bride's clothing and shoes, makeup, hair, groom's clothing and accessories); rings/jewelry, flowers (for the entire party and at both venues); musician/band/DJ; photograpy; transportation (if applicable); invitations and signage; and anything else that would cause a significant dent in your wedding budget. Remember to include such essential fees as tips for vendors (about 15% to 20%), trial hair and makeup sessions and dress/tuxedo cleanings and pressings.

As far as planning a wedding on a budget with your parents, his parents and any other well-wishers (step parents perhaps), show them your finalized wedding budget at an informal, yet constructive meeting. Discuss costs and who can realistically afford what. In days past, it was common -- and expected -- for the bride's parents to pay for everything, a modern dowry in a sense. Today's weddings no longer involve such a considerable sacrifice, though it is still carried on by many traditionalists. At this meeting, you'll want to discuss how the payments will be made; maybe your parents would like to split something or pay for one segment of the wedding entirely. Will they be giving you one lump sum in a check or visiting vendors with you to pay upfront? Such concerns about planning a wedding on a budget should be dealt with by a frank talk that involves all parties.

Many wedding budget planners suggest opening a separate wedding account at your bank that's not linked with any of your personal accounts. This simple action will help you more carefully figure out what's been spent on the wedding and where the funds are going. You should also set aside an additional 5 to 10% of your overall wedding budget should mishaps arise. The likelihood that you will go over your budget is almost a given; the amount to which you do can be controlled, in most instances, by careful wedding planning, and that budget of 5 to 10% extra you've stashed away will come in handy. Scaling back from the get-go is a huge help; this includes things like not having a buffet (wasted food), having fewer bridesmaids and offering just wine and beer at the reception (alcohol is a major expenditure). Still, if these are must-haves, just be cautious of vendors who try to upsell you to some better, improved service that you probably don't need. Research is a crucial part of planning a wedding on a budget, so make sure you do your fair share before visiting vendors and venues.

Fine-tuning Your Wedding Budget for Success
Far too many couples forget about planning a wedding with a budget in mind and have a bang-up, blow-out bash that ends up putting them in the red. Add that to any other debts, and you're starting your marriage -- which should be thoroughly exciting -- with a gray cloud over your heads. A well-planned wedding budget that's done from the start -- with nothing unaccounted for -- will ensure that you can mosey off to your honeymoon with nothing else to worry about but enjoying yourselves.

Cherie Johnson is the founder and owner of Creative Wedding Favors, a one-stop shop for personalized, unique baby and bridal shower, graduation, quinceanera, anniversary and wedding favors, helping countless couples and families make their big events a success. Cherie's wedding advice has appeared on several websites including Little Wedding Guide, Wedding Lenox and the Wedding Source. Before she launched her company in 2006, Cherie worked as a professional wedding photographer, capturing the most special moments of the bride and groom's big day. For more information on Creative Wedding Favors or to find a variety of colorful, customizable gifts and favors, please visit www.CreativeWeddingFavors.com. 

5 Ways to Be Sure Your Bridesmaids Don't Hate You After Your Wedding

Photo Credit \ Brooke Anderson

If you've ever been a bridesmaid, you probably know that it's no easy task. Check out five painless ways you can keep your friendships together in the middle of planning your wedding:

Keep in mind that you're the one getting married, not your entire circle. Planning your wedding -- no matter how small or low-key -- can become all-consuming. However, your bridesmaids still have lives to attend to. Yes, your wedding is important to your friends, but they do have other things going on that often take precedence.

Be considerate when choosing their attire. Blowing $300 (after alterations) for a dress you'll probably only wear once? Not cool. There are plenty of other fashionable and affordable places that offer bridesmaids dresses such as J. Crew and Ann Taylor. Also, remember: Any dress can be transformed into a bridesmaids dress if it fits your vision; don't be scared to think outside the box.

Check out the other three tips here.

Wedding Party Gifting Dos and Don'ts

Photo from | freedigitalphotos.net

Your wedding party has been there for you through the good and the bad. To thank them appropriately, it's customary to give gifts to show your appreciation for all they've done. Here are a few dos and don'ts to think about:

Be unique. If you've ever been in a wedding party, most likely, you already know the gift routine. The typical gifts -- beer steins, watches and necklaces -- are great; however your friends probably already have lots of these items. If you really want to "knock their socks off," think of something outside the box. Check out websites like Etsy Weddings and Pinterest for unique options. Also, local vintage shops are great places to find one-of-a-kind gifts.

Don't procrastinate. Let's face it, shopping at the last minute is always a stressful experience. And that stress is multiplied when you're trying to put the finishing touches on your wedding. Chris Easter, co-founder of The Man Registry, suggests completing your shopping no later than one month prior to your wedding. If you wait too long, you may end up paying extra shipping or rush charges for purchases you make with online specialty shops. Additionally, keep in mind that some personalized gifts need extra time to create and ship.

Read the other dos and don'ts here.

RSVP Woes in Wedding Planning

Photo Credit: Matt Hutchinson

You would be hard pressed to find a couple who hasn't experienced surprise, anger, hurt or disappointment about who didn't come to their wedding and who did not RSVP without having to be asked (after the deadline).

What is going on with people? Why aren't they able to fill out a stupid card with a stamp already on it and tell you they are going to come or not come to your wedding? And then show up if they said they were coming!

The RSVP deadline is where the rubber meets the road in wedding planning. Until this point, you can live in fantasy land. You dream of the big day, you count everyone you want to be there and budget accordingly, finding the right reception space, deciding on the food and festivities surrounding the big day. The mythical princess moment is just around the corner and soon, you will have The Final Guest List or the final cast of characters to witness your Cinderella moment.

Getting those RSVP cards in the mail every day can be as exciting as the actual wedding gifts.

Ironically, this is often the small window of life when you diligently RSVP to friends' weddings. When you're single, you have no clue about the enormous task of wedding planning, and when you're married, you either get amnesia, or you're busy having your last pre-child moments, being pregnant or raising children. A simple RSVP card is just another item on a busy checklist of activities for those marrieds/singles. I remember a married-with-kids coworker of mine said to me about RSVP cards, "I figure if I don't respond, they know I'm not coming." I wanted to strangle her.

I admit, I'm in the amnesia camp with the exception of one guest who was unreachable until after the final catering count and who, to add some extra blood pressure, was also bringing an uninvited guest (someone he barely knew but had a crush on). This was two days after the catering deadline, plus an uninvited guest. The person is still living because he was a guest on my husband's side, so I stayed away from him (with a strong warning of my parents and husband to chill out). The woman he invited did end up dating our guest.

The bubble bursts when you find out that your Cinderella day turns out to be just another day for most of your guests. Your rational side knows this is not the biggest day to them, but you are shocked that they can't just respond, or you are hurt and disappointed when they decide not to come for lame reasons. (I recently heard about guests having a lot of household chores that weekend, so they wouldn't be able to make it. I was at a wedding with a half empty reception hall because a full 70 people RSVP'ed yes and no-showed. There was clearly some family drama going on there!). Hopefully, you have enough cheerleaders to keep you from being weighed down by the emotion of it all.

How do you, then, rethink your wedding when you estimated for 200 and only 100 will make it? Or when you have a huge ballroom and it will be half empty instead of brimming full? Or when the reasons cherished guests give for not coming are shockingly pathetic and dismissive on your big day? Or when they don't show and don't bother to call you to explain?

First of all, I hope this article normalizes what you're going through. You are not alone -- far from it. For any story you have, there is going to be someone else with a way worse story. Then, it's a matter of letting yourself feel whatever you are feeling about it. (Your emotions may range from, "Oh well, the important thing is I'm getting married" to "What a flipping idiot!" to "I can't believe someone would be that rude!").

The next choice is how you are going to set aside strong negative emotions, temporarily or permanently. You can't let these people ruin the build up to your wedding. Are you going to forgive or forget or stew? You can ask yourself if this is worth altering a friendship -- maybe yes, maybe no. For sure, now is not the time to make nasty phone calls or worse, write flaming emails. I encourage you to talk with your spouse-to-be. Life is full of disappointments and hurts, and this is a perfect time to remind yourself that you are marrying this person for his or her support. You can let them know what you need in the moment. Sometimes, it's as simple as, "Honey, I am going to vent right now. Please just listen!" or you may want to actually ask to get a rational perspective on why the wedding will still be wonderful and life will go on with or without the offending persons or the modified guest list or altered plans.

Once you have wrapped your head around the new wedding guest list, remind yourself of the love and support you are getting from everyone who will be there in person or in spirit. Weddings are a community event, and the number of people who are there has nothing to do with the quality of your supportive community. Most of us would take one great friend over 10 acquaintances. Your wedding day is a huge day for you, and nobody can change that by their inconsiderateness. Bask in the glorious day surrounded by those who love you and are witnessing the beginning of your married life.

Elizabeth Doherty Thomas is a co-founder of The First Dance, along with Marriage and Family therapist father Bill Doherty. The First Dance is a 2007 Modern Bride Trendsetter award-winner for taking on the complex family dynamics of wedding planning. See what engaged couples and wedding professionals are saying about their book "Take Back Your Wedding." Their entire website is dedicated to offering advice on working through the people stresses of wedding planning as a couple, with your families and how to strengthen your upcoming marriage through this enormous first task of married life.

Tips for Planning Your Wedding Rehearsal Dinner

Check out these tips for pulling off your rehearsal dinner without a hitch:

When to have it: While most people have their rehearsal dinner the evening before their wedding, right after the ceremony run-through, you can have yours whenever works best for you.

Paying for it: Usually, the groom's parents plan and pay for the rehearsal dinner. However, these days, many couples pay for it themselves or ask both sets of parents to contribute to the cost. If you feel strongly about which venue is chosen, you should start talking about everyone's plans.

Who you invite: Must-includes are: all members of the wedding party (with their spouses/dates); parents of flower girls and ring bearers, if the little ones are invited; all parents, stepparents and grandparents of the bride and groom and siblings who aren't in the wedding party (and their spouses/significant others); and many times, the officiant and his/her spouse. Out-of-town guests should be invited as well, but if you'd rather keep the gathering more intimate, schedule an event for them at another location, like a restaurant, the hotel where they're staying or informal cocktails at a friend's or relative's home.

Formality: It can be however formal (or informal) you want it to be, but it should not be more formal than the actual wedding. Whatever style you choose, send the rehearsal dinner invitations after you've received wedding RSVPs.

Where to have it: Try to keep it simple. Places to consider: a restaurant (preferably one with a private room); someone's back yard; or a pizza place for a super-casual shin dig. As long as you and your guests are comfortable, relaxed and having a good time, anything goes.

And don't forget these moments:

Toasts. If the groom's father is hosting, he can welcome guests with a formal toast, or the best man can do it. Then, other-well wishers can toast as well (keep in mind that toasts can be a little longer and more humorous at the rehearsal dinner than at the wedding). Be ready to rise and thank those who've toasted you. And later, you and your fiance may want to take a minute to toast each other and thank your hosts.
Gifts. Give your bridesmaids and groomsmen their thank-you presents, particularly if it's something they'll need for the wedding.
Performances: If secular readings or popular songs aren't right for the ceremony, you can include them in the rehearsal dinner.
Special presentations. A lot of rehearsal dinners have videos that incorporate footage from the bride's and groom's pasts.

[Source]

Wedding Traditions to Consider Borrowing

Photo from | freedigitalphotos.net

Are you a bride-to-be who's bored with the typical American wedding traditions? Well, why not make your "something borrowed" a wedding custom from another culture? All countries have their own twist to matrimony; here are a few to consider trying for your own big day:

1. In Hindu ceremonies in Southern India, the blissful couple takes seven steps together to indicate their friendship, which is considered the cornerstone of the marriage.

2. The custom of jumping over a broom represents sweeping away the past and beginning a new home. The tradition began during slavery, when African-Americans weren't allowed to marry and sealed their love with a leap. These days, brooms are often made by hand as keepsakes.

3. In France, the bride and groom drink a wedding toast from a two-handed goblet known as a coupe de marriage, and it's often engraved and handed down from generation to generation.

4. In Venezuelan weddings, the honeymoon begins right away. And it's not unusual for the newlyweds to slip away from the reception to get the private party started.

For six more tips, check out 10 Wedding Traditions Worth Borrowing.

7 Wedding Costs To Do Without

Photo from | freedigitalphotos.net

If you stubbornly stick to expensive wedding traditions, the costs of your big day can quickly add up. So, since we're now living in the 21st century, it's time to throw away those uneconomical wedding customs and just keep those that work with your budget.


Check out this article from Savvy Sugar to see what costly wedding traditions to ditch.

How to Choose Flower Girls Dresses for Your Special Day

Photo from | mydress4less.com

Weddings are spectacular events filled with love, family and friends as well as beauty. Your aim for the day is for everything to be perfect; after all, this is the day that a bride has been waiting for, probably since she was a child. From flowers to the flower girl dress, one only hopes it turns out to be fabulous. There are many important aspects to a wedding, but one's dress is easily visible so one should take extra care when choosing this for the ceremony.

Weddings Are Joyous Occasions
Dresses play a large part in any wedding. They are very important. After all, everyone is going to be talking about how the bride, her bridesmaids and the flower girls dresses looked, so properly selecting each garment is vital. When it comes to choosing your wedding dress, a lot of thought should go into it. The same can be said for the flower girl dress. One probably already has the design, style and shade of white pictured and so the process of selecting is made easier.

If you have no clue as to the type of flower girl dress you prefer, there are plenty of resources available to provide inspiration, and ideas should soon to start to flow.

One might not put as much though into the designs and styles of the dresses of your wedding entourage as you do yourself though, but choosing their wear is just as important.

Choosing Flower Girl Dresses
With so many things to do before the big day, a bride might be so overwhelmed that the thought of still having to pick out a flower girl dress can become a nightmare. However, selecting adorable little dresses can be a fun process that does not take much effort from a bride. Once you have decided on the color of your wedding, the task really becomes very easy.

Start by considering the season. This is a very important aspect that many brides do not give enough attention to. Having a summer wedding, you might think simple, sleeveless and short. That is correct, but you also might want to pay attention to the type of material for these flower girl dresses. Some fabrics could be heavy and warm, making a little girl feel hot and uncomfortable. Besides this, she may probably feel more tired and irritable. The color that you choose also plays an important role. Dark colors absorb more heat so stick to light and pastel shades. Material should also be light and loose on the little girl.

If you are planning to have a winter wedding, then you should also cater to your flower girl's needs. Remember that your flower girl is a kid and unlike adults, who can handle a little cold, kids are often miserable when they are uncomfortable. This makes for an upset little one and many bad photos! Short sleeves are pretty, but make sure she has a matching jacket when it gets a little chilly and that she has leggings on to keep out the cold.

When it comes to styles and designs, many brides-to-be do not really know where to begin. Once again, the time of year should serve as a guide.

Paging through bridal magazines are wonderful ways to pick up styles. Not only with bridal magazines but also you might find that you get cute little dress ideas from ordinary fashion magazines that you could incorporate as a dress for your flower girl. If you feel limited by the selection of little girls dresses, then you can take an adult dress and miniaturize it into a flower girl dress. However, be careful when doing this; you do not want your flower girl looking too mature. Flower girls should look cute, adorable and youthful.

Also, look at what works for others. Get ideas from past weddings you have attended or turn to movies for ideas. If you do find something you like from a friend or family member's wedding, you can incorporate the same style, but try to make it a little bit original.

The Size of the Dress
The length of a flower girl's dress has always been a debate. Long, hitting the ankles or short, knee-length, which one is right? Luckily, there is no right or wrong answer; it really depends on the bride. Knee-length or just below the knee is a great choice as little girls like to run around and play, so this length makes them feel free, whereas they might feel restricted in a longer dress.

If you do prefer something longer, avoid dresses that reach all the way to the floor. Not only is it bound to get dirty, but also your little flower girl can be prone to trip. A great medium when it comes to length is to have a dress that ends halfway between the ankle and knee. In this sense, the dress is not too long and not too short either.

Lisa Parker is a freelance writer who writes about family and family events such as weddings, often focusing on one specific aspect of a wedding, such as flower girl dress.

11 Strategies to Neutralize Wedding Planning Stress

Photo from | freedigitalphotos.net

We might as well get it out in the open. Planning a wedding is not a big job. It is a huge job somewhat akin to staging a Broadway musical, minus the cast of experienced participants. To make matters worse, the more guests that are invited, the more formal the event, the more complex the plans, the bigger the job is. That means stress. Lots of it. There is no way to get around it, but there are ways to neutralize wedding planning stress.

Moreover, since the female tends to place more value on the festivities of the day than the male mind does, chances are the groom is not going to take the lead planning the day. This means that the stress of wedding planning is generally felt more acutely by the bride.

Indeed, many brides feel like their groom does not care, thus increasing their stress. Whether or not their perception is true, the reality of the perception is enough to leave most brides pulling their hair out.

The secret to maintaining sanity during the wedding planning process is to maintain a bag of tricks that will allow the bride to minimize the stress, whether by strategically recruiting others to do some of the work or by scheduling events designed specifically to help her unwind before she unravels.

Take a trip to the spa: Often, brides will plan a trip to the spa with their bridesmaids in the week just before the wedding. That can be good, but it might not be enough. There is nothing that will release stress faster than being pampered while you lay on a warm table immersed in a soothing fragrance and surrounded by relaxing music. Can't afford trips to the spa? Not a problem. A bride with a limited budget can recruit a good friend to help her create her own spa experience with aromatic touches, soft music and a homemade facial mask or body peel.

Hire a wedding planner. A wedding planner who has been around the block a time or two offers something very few brides have...experience. They know people in the business, they know how to deal with wedding professionals, relatives, etc. Most of all, they know what to expect and what is a problem and what is not, so the bride does not have to waste stress over situations that are not really a problem.

Have the groom break out the digital camera, camcorder and laptop: Guys love their toys...and most guys love anything high tech. So recruit them to set up a wedding website -- through which you can have them post wedding registry information, track RSVPs, share engagement photos and videos -- even send out the invitations, or at least have them use the computer to print the invitations and create address labels. You get the idea. Getting rid of such a huge amount of work in a way that he will embrace gladly will reduce any bride's stress level.

Go out to dinner: Take the time to sit and enjoy a good, high quality meal. Eat something healthy. This is as much about good nutrition as it is about a change of pace. Our bodies need the change of pace that sitting down to a good meal will provide, and it also needs nutrition rich foods to help deal with the stress planning a wedding can bring. Going out and having someone wait on us for a change is part of the therapy. Who the bride chooses for company is her decision, as long as it takes her away from wedding planning activities during the meal.

Take a bath: There is nothing like soaking in a hot tub treated with scented bath salts while reading a good book by the light of candles ringing the tub. Add a glass of a favorite sipping drink and watch the stress melt.

For six more tips, click here.

A Wedding to Remember: Unique Wedding Ideas They'll Never Forget

By Cherie Johnson

Photo from | office.microsoft.com

There are very few once in a lifetime events quite like your wedding day. From the flowers and dress to the flavor of the cake, the option to plan and personalize your wedding with your own unique wedding ideas is truly in your court. And we've all been to dozens of weddings that follow the standard format -- the rehearsal and subsequent dinner, the wedding ceremony where the bridesmaids, groomsmen and couple walked formally down the aisle and finally, the reception.

And yes, points are given to the couples that take the time to personalize their weddings with fun favors, unusual refreshments, decorations and other unique wedding ideas. But have you ever thought about shaking up your own wedding, perhaps even changing the very structure of it? With a little ingenuity (and planning), you can personalize your wedding in a way that's fun for everyone!

My Favorite Memorable Ideas for Unique Weddings
Consider the rehearsal dinner. Whereas most couples elect to run through the standard 'meet and greet,' practice their walk down the aisle to get rid of those pre-ceremony jitters, and then sit down to a light repast, some brides and grooms choose to infuse this gathering with their very own unique wedding ideas. One example I've heard of is eliminating the sit down dinner entirely, which is usually more formal in nature anyway. The brides then invite the rehearsal dinner guests over for a picnic (in warmer months) or a potluck supper (great any time). The option not only takes away a lot of wedding stress but also encourages the guests to interact more.

The wedding ceremony itself is, of course, meant to be solemn and respectful, but that doesn't mean before or after the priest or minister marries the couple you can't infuse the ceremony with your own unique wedding ideas. One of the more unusual examples I've heard about is the entire wedding party dancing up and down the aisle to the delight of the guests who get in on the act. Without so much as a hint as to what is going on, an upbeat tempo begins playing and guests start clapping. The bridesmaids and groomsmen get footloose up and down the aisle, making way for the groom's and bride's grand entrances. After all, a lively entrance is certainly one way to personalize your wedding and make sure your guests never forget your nuptials!

Another way to personalize your wedding is seating guests at round tables at the wedding venue itself (serving as both the ceremony and reception area). Though it appears to be the reception, the guests actually watch as the bride and groom are married while seated at tables, and then after a quick swap out, the area becomes a beautiful reception. The perks? The bride and groom save lots of money because there's no need to secure two venues, and your guests don't have to travel.

And, of course, if you choose to have a wedding theme, you can incorporate all sorts of unique wedding ideas. Take the idea of a renaissance-themed wedding. Both the bride and groom, for instance, will be wearing flowing fabrics and unique headpieces, while the entertainment could feasibly be even more entertaining. Couples have hired 'court jesters,' 'jugglers' and 'dancers' to lighten the mood, carry on the renaissance theme and personalize their wedding in a unique way. However, whatever your wedding theme may be, just remember to explore all the unique wedding ideas and possibilities available to you. If it's historical in nature, do your research! If it's hobby-themed, ask your friends to share their ideas. Not only will collaboration on unique wedding ideas help you to envision a better wedding, you'll also have the support of your friends.

At your reception  just about anything goes. It's your day, so plan and personalize your wedding reception how you want. Some brides feel as though they have to please their guests. Bottom line -- if you plan and personalize your wedding activities and events, your guests will want to stay all night long. Consider, for example, the buffet or sit down style dinner served at most weddings. A few brides have elected to have wait staff circulate with heavy hors d'oeuvres and beverages or have had multiple refreshment tables set up around the room. Usually, one of the most popular attractions and these refreshment tables is the giant chocolate fountain with fruit and pretzels for dipping.

Another one of the more unique wedding ideas I've heard about is a groom's cake made entirely of meat. Ideally, the groom's cake is meant for him and his right-hand men, so in many ways, it's appropriate. And you might just have a lot of extra 'cake' left over to enjoy later!

Memories that Last a Lifetime
These exmples of unique wedding ideas are just a few of the more memorable highlights I've seen at weddings over the years. Regardless of how you choose to personalize your wedding, it will always be a special day -- a celebration of love and romance with your closest friends and family members. And if you ultimately decide to play it on the traditional side, don't worry -- you have those beautiful memories to last a lifetime.

Cherie Johnson is the founder and owner of Creative Wedding Favors, a one-stop shop for personalized, unique baby and bridal shower, graduation, quinceanara, anniversary and wedding favors, helping countless couples and families make their big events a success. Cherie's wedding advice has appeared on several websites including Little Wedding Guide, Wedding Lenox and The Wedding Source. Before she launched her company in 2006, Cherie worked as a professional wedding photographer, capturing the most special moments of the bride and groom's big day. For more information on Creative Wedding Favors or to find a variety of colorful, customizable gifts and favors, please visit www.CreativeWeddingFavors.com.

Ways to Make Your Wedding Unforgettable

Want to give your wedding a unique edge? Here are some tips from wedding planners Paige Appel and Kelly Harris, of Bash, Please and authors of The New Fashioned Wedding:

• Keep it simple, whether that means a more modern take or “vintage sensibility.”
• Consider a natural and open venue.
• Hire a videographer that will make your wedding moments more passionate and artistic.
• Have a diverse musical selection, for example, a jazz singer for the cocktail hour and an 80s cover band for dancing.

For more tips and to read the article in its entirety, click here

[Photo Credit]

How to Honor Lost Loved Ones at Your Wedding

When it comes to planning a tribute for a loved one at your wedding, first consider these three things:

How fresh is the wound? You want to recognize that person without placing a sad mood over your celebration. If your loved one passed a few months prior to the wedding, you'll need to handle a tribute differently than if you've had time to grieve properly. You have to find your personal comfort level. And although you think you're strong enough to hold it together, you also want to think about how the tribute will make your guests feel.

How much attention to you want to draw to this tribute? Dealing with death is a very personal matter. Consider whether the tribute will be for your eyes only or if you want a public message to acknowledge your loved one (or a combination of both). If you plan to have any kind of public tribute, it's recommended that you tell others who were close to the deceased beforehand so they aren't caught off guard.

What's most appropriate for that person? Think about the personality of the loved one you want to honor. Did she love being the center of attention, or did she avoid the spotlight? What were her favorite activities, interests and hobbies? What connected you and helped you bond? By looking at your relationship, you'll be able to decide what's most appropriate.

Here are a few ways to honor your loved one:

1. Wear something that reminds you of that person. This is one of the most private ways to honor your lost loved one -- no one will know unless you tell them. It's also a great way to keep that person close to your heart without drawing attention to their absence. For instance, you can wear their earrings, incorporate a favorite photo, a handkerchief or another small momento into your bouquet.

2. Light a candle. A single candle on a table in the entrance or near your cake display can make a strong statement. Using a flameless candle will reflect that this person's memory will live on forever.

3. Dedicate a part of the ceremony to that person. For one of your readings, you could choose your loved one's favorite poem or story. Or you can play their favorite song as you walk down the aisle.

4. Have a moment of silence. Particularly for religious people, having a moment of silence within your house of worship is a powerful way to acknowledge a lost loved one. Usually, the moment of silence occurs right after your walk down the aisle.

For more ideas, check out our source, 10 Powerful Ways to Honor Lost Loved Ones.

{Photo Credit}

How to Make a Wedding Affordable

By Tammy Paquin

Photo from: freedigitalphotos.net

I was looking over some information about articles I've submitted and noticed that one of the phrases searched that brought up some of them was, "marriage ceremony when you can't get married because of finances." We also have some new friends who are talking about how they can't get married right now because they can't afford a wedding. It made me think that sometimes, young couples don't really understand the difference between the wedding and the marriage so I decided to throw out my two cents on the subject.

First things first, a wedding is the ceremony. It's the vows you take BEFORE the marriage starts. Marriage is the ever after, the part that is most important. It's the rest of your lives together, going through the sickness and health, the ups and downs, the good and bad and everything in between. How you're going to handle all of that together is more important than the wedding itself, but I'm always amazed at how many couples spend months or years to plan the wedding but end up divorced in two years because they never discussed the MARRIAGE! They've had their $25,000 dream wedding, still owe on it and are seeking out a divorce lawyer!

That said, if you truly love one another and are prepared for marriage, then truly, you should get married. You shouldn't put off the marriage because you can't afford the wedding. I know it's hard to wrap your head around this, but this big, spectaular wedding isn't something you MUST have. It's a desire, a want, not a NEED. Living together for five years because you can't afford the wedding isn't a mature attitude. If you really wanted to be married, you'd realized the difference between the marriage and the wedding. I know this sounds harsh. Don't shoot me yet. I'm not saying you have to give up all of your wedding dreams. I'm just saying to be a realist about them.

Something that irks me to no end is the statement made by some that "courtesy dictates" or custom dictates." Okay, nothing gets me riled up more than the word "dictate." Does that mean you HAVE to do something? You're being forced against your will to do something? If "dictate" is paying the tab on the pricey affair, then so be it; but if YOU are paying the tab, and you don't want to start out your marriage in debt because of your wedding, then by all means, kick "dictate" out of the picture and do what you can afford!

First, discuss what's important to both of you for the wedding. Is it a church ceremony? Is it the long, cathedral-length gown? Is it getting all of your friends and relations together for the event? Make a list of the "must haves" and the "can do without" items. Once you have that, it's easier to find ways to accomplish your desires AND do it inexpensively.

Wedding gown - Truthfully, the gown was one of MY most important things. I imagined myself in the cathedral-length gown. I seriously shopped! I quickly found that I didn't look better in the $3,000 raw silk gown versus the $650 gown! Shocking, huh? Now, even $650 is a lot. I was recently shopping in a thrift store and found a BRAND NEW, raw silk, cathedral-length wedding gown with labels STILL ON for $50! I'm still kicking myself for not buying the dress just for the fabric (I'm a quitter). Sometimes, I kick myself for not shopping for my wedding gown at thrift stores. I always figured them for out-of-date styles, but that's far from true. In addition, the long trains are great for showy weddings and for when the pictures are taken, but if you're trimming expenses, then think more on a shorter style or floor-length, which are generally much less. Remember that NO ONE has to know that your dress was a thrift store find, off the floor sale or borrowed from a friend! All they'll know is that you look beautiful, radiant and happy in it!

Church wedding - Generally, it's not the church that is the biggest expense, especially if you're a member of that church. What IS expensive about the church weddings are the flowers, the pew decorations, the cathedral length gown and all of that stuff. Being married in our church with a Mass was very important to us. Being married in the presence of our friends and family was important to us! The total cost of the church and small donation was $175. I made simple pew bows for about $100. The church was already decorated for the fall season, and we chose not to add any more flowers. We could have paid the church organist about another $100 to play the music, but I had opted for a string quartet of our choosing which cost us $500 (having a friend handle recorded music would have cost us nothing). We could have had the entire church wedding for $175 if we had chosen though. Remember, God will be present with you as join in holy matrimony no matter where you choose to exchange your vows and no matter how you choose to decorate (or not decorate).

The photographs - Yep, BIG, BIG EXPENSE! I've seen wedding packages run into the thousands and thousands. I had friends who wanted to be married and were willing to do whatever was needed to have a a wedding but keep the cost to the absolute minimum. They decided to forego a formal wedding photographer and asked that friends take pictures to share with them. As their wedding gift to them, I offered to take more formal pictures for them. I took the time to help them set up shots after the ceremony, and they made sure to have pictures with anyone they wanted and have any pose they wanted. I developed the initial pictures as my gift and gave them everything in archival albums (negatives included, which in general, professional photographers won't give you). They were THRILLED! So, as you can see, if you have a friend who is respectable with a good camera, you might ask them to photograph for you as a wedding gift. I definitely agree that capturing the moment is important, but capturing for free or nearly free is MUCH better than capturing for thousands.

Reception - Okay, this is one of the biggest expenses by far. If you can have your church wedding, and then after the ceremony, use the church banquet hall for a buffet of sandwiches, salads, cake and punch, and THAT is what you can afford, then so be it! Some will tell you that you have to have a sit-down meal. Go back to what I think about "dictate."

The bottom line is that having the dream to start your marriage surrounded by friends and family doesn't have to be an expensive affair  A stylish, tasteful and beautiful wedding can be created from almost any budget. It does require a bit more effort and time on your part, but it also means really discussing what is important to both of you and setting priorities, which honestly, is a great way to start a lifetime together.

Tammy Paquin is a work-from-home mom of three boys and the owner and publisher of Frugal-Families, an online resource for frugality, finances, budgeting and everything else related to stretching the dollar. For more ways to stretch your income so you can afford the wedding of your dreams, visit Frugal-Families.

How to Tame Your Wedding Guest list

When it comes to your guest list, most of the time, your budget doesn't match your wish list. Translation: You can't invite everyone. So, whether you want a small wedding and your mom wants to invite everyone you've ever met, here are tips for taking it one step at a time and creating a list that everyone can happily live with:

Getting started. If you haven't already, determine the general size of the wedding you want. Do you want the biggest party you can possibly have, or do you envision a more intimate event where you can spend time with each guest? Next, you'll want to think about your budget for the reception; most couples plan their guest list around these very important numbers.

Choosing the type of setting you prefer will affect how long your guest list is. For instance, if you're thinking about your not-so-grand childhood home, those 250 guests may be sitting on top of one another (and breach fire regulations). On the other hand, if you're considering a huge space, like a ballroom in a mansion, you want your group to be large enough that the space feels full.

Now you might be wondering which step should come first. Well, since each factor influences the other, you have to consider lots of things simultaneously (multitasking anyone?) Once you've made a decision, find your inner peacemaker, and you'll be good to go.

Continue reading here >>

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Fun Rehearsal Dinner Ideas

Not into the idea of having a formal rehearsal dinner? No worries! There are several alternative options for you. Here are some ideas from Yifat Oren, celebrity wedding planner and event design expert:

Have a picnic. No matter where you live, having a picnic is a great idea. Check with a local park or boardwalk and prepare an old-fashion spread (with sandwiches, salads and lemonade).
Tip: Be sure you have enough food for guests to make a meal of it, or tell them a full dinner won't be served. Although it's a picnic, you can't skimp on the servings. Don't want to be responsible for a whole meal? Consider having the dinner in the early afternoon or later on in the evening; that way, guests will know what to expect.

Fire up the grill. Organizing a casual backyard barbecue can be a great way to hang out and allow everyone to get to know each other, just be sure you balance your time away from the grill. If you're working with a planner, see if he or she can help with the rehearsal dinner as well.
Tip: If you feel that your bonding time with your new family will be utilized by serving food, consider having the dinner in a restaurant.

Play Some Games. Sometimes, nothing can be better than an old-school game night, like the ones you had as a kid. So pull out Outburst!, Trivial Pursuit and other games.
Tip: Keep it casual and order some pizza, have a nice home cooked meal or have it catered. Eat first before starting the games. That way, you won't have to worry about serving food and cleaning while in the middle of an intense Monopoly game.

For more tips, check out our source, 8 Fun Rehearsal Dinner Ideas.

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Wedding Mistakes Bridesmaids Should Avoid

It's an honor to stand by your friend's side at her wedding, and with that recognition comes a variety of responsibilities. However, when it comes to wedding dos and don'ts, the boundaries aren't always clear. So, if you're going to be a bridesmaid soon, here are a few common blunders to avoid so you can keep your integrity and be sure your friend feels supported on her special day:

1. Comment on every detail. Making a decision can become difficult after some time, but that doesn't mean the bride needs your input on all of the wedding specifics. If she asks for your opinion, then give it to her while being honest. At times, however, she may just need a listening ear. With that said, know when to throw your two cents in and when to just act as a sounding board for ideas.
2. Bend over backwards. While being a bridesmaid certainly calls for a few necessary responsibilities, that doesn't mean you're the bride's servant until her big day. Offer to help out when you can, but don't be scared to say no, whether it's for financial or other reasons. Going overboard will drain you, and you don't want to feel resentful toward your friend during this special time.
3. Be picky over the details. Don't like the shoes she chose? Wish your dress was another shade? Being the bride means your friend gets to call the shots. Feel free to speak your mind if it's a pricing issue or if she asks about what you prefer; otherwise, just grin and bear it, and keep your choices in mind for your own big day.

For five more mistakes to avoid, check out our source, 8 Mistakes Every Bridesmaid Should Avoid.

Biggest Wedding Planning Mistakes

• No personality. You don't necessarily need a theme wedding, but you don't have to do what everyone else does or allow your planner to do all the work. This is one of the most important days of your life, so it needs to reflect you and your fiance's lives.
• Blowing money. While there is a ton of good wedding planning advice out there, you'll also see advice from individuals who will profit from it. With that said, make sure you're not spending where you don't need to, whether it's being talked into having more flowers or a more expensive dress. Know your budget, and know what's important to you and what's not.
• Being inconsiderate. Yes, it's your wedding and your big day. However, you should also take other people into consideration as well. Really consider what you are asking people to do; for example, is what you're asking the wedding party to do fair? Will your guests be comfortable in the weather? Do they know what to expect?
• Losing perspective. Stay focused on what's truly important to you. Don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed with all the small details that you don't spend appropriate time on what's important. And if something goes wrong, take some deep breaths and envision the big picture. Most of all -- maintain your sense of humor! 

For six more mistakes to avoid, check out Top 10 Biggest Wedding Planning Mistakes. 

6 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Wedding

1. You don't stick with your budget. Simply put, you have a budget for a reason. Early on, prioritize what you want to splurge on and what you want to save on. For example, do you care more about the flowers or the photography? When you have an idea of how high you're willing to go in each of the main categories, it'll be easier for you to narrow down your vendors and negotiate exactly what you're getting. 
2. You plan your own bridal shower and/or bachelorette party. Let your mom, aunt, maid of honor, best friend or anyone else plan these two events. It's okay to give particular guidelines (like no strippers), but you shouldn't book any hotel rooms or create a detailed itinerary. Your friends will have lots of fun planning it, and you'll be better off since you'll have more time to focus on planning the main event. 
3. You choose to do your own hair, makeup and/or flowers. Although you might be able to make your own favors or print your own menus, there are particular aspects of your wedding you should leave to the professionals -- hair, makeup and flowers are generally at the top of the list. Having your hair and makeup done professionally ensures you'll look amazing from beginning to end. And there won't be enough time for you to do every single centerpiece, bouquet and boutonniere yourself.
4. You don't have a Plan B for an outdoor wedding. Always ask about rain when you're visiting potential venues, even before you book. By doing this, you're guaranteed to get something you're equally happy about, no matter what the weather does. Also, think about other weather conditions: Get heat lamps if you're planning your wedding for early fall, and provide paper fans just in case you have an extra sunny summer wedding.
5. You wait until the big day to try on your shoes. Yes, you want to keep your fabulous shoes in perfect condition, but you should try wearing them around your house, at least, for several hours on a few different days before your wedding so you can avoid blisters or pinched toes. Even if you plan to change shoes after the ceremony, you want to be sure you can both comfortably and confidently walk down the aisle in your heels.
6. You assume you'll be coordinating the day-of. The only thing you should have to do on your wedding day is enjoy yourself. You've likely heard this many times before, but the day goes by very quickly. If issues pop up that can't be handled beforehand, try to hand them off to your mom, maid of honor or a helpful family friend to deal with. Even better: Consider hiring a day-of coordinator to be certain everything runs smoothly. 

For other things to avoid for your big day, check out 20 Ways You're Sabotaging Your Wedding.

Wedding Seating Charts 101

Planning who will sit where at your wedding can be a huge headache. With that said, here are some tips to help make creating your seating chart a little easier to deal with:

• Take your time. Don't think you'll be able to complete this task the night before your wedding; it could take a while. Taking your time to make sure all guests are in the right spot will create a more pleasant reception for all.
• Categorize. Are you keeping a master guest list? If so, group each guest in of the following categories: wedding party, groom's family, bride's family, coupled/married friends, single friends, guests with kids and people with known, lasting conflicts.
• Create a plan. Take out a sheet of paper, and plan how the tables will be arranged, and include the bride or head table (or you can find a template online). If you'll be determining where each table will be placed, put yourself in a position where all guests can see you, leave enough space for dancing, and consider foot traffic.
• Begin with you. The first thing you need to do is decide who will be joining you and your new spouse at the head table. Some couples include the entire bridal party, some sit with their parents and others sit by themselves. It's completely up to you and depends on your venue as well. If you choose to have the wedding party sit separately, consider putting them all at one or two tables with their significant others.

For more tips on creating your seating chart, check out Seating Charts 101 - Putting Everyone in Their Place.

5 Ways to Find Wedding Vendors

By S. Cohen


When planning your wedding, every single detail really counts. At the end of the day, the final outcome of the celebration really lies in the hands of the vendors you choose. A bride can have the most thought out suggestions and plans, but if your vendors are not capable of carrying out those expressed ideas, they mean nothing.

We have come up with some of the greatest ways to find wedding vendors in your area. Remember that each suggestion in itself is not meant to stand alone. A bride should really take advantage of all of the resources that exists in finding the right florist, photographer, caterer, etc.

1. Friends and Family. Your friends and family are an extremely valuable planning resource. They extend your reach of wedding knowledge more than you know. Each has attended or planned a wedding more recently than you think. So even if they only have a few bits of information, it all adds up to more than you had before. They can provide you with numbers, names and references before ever having to speak with a vendor. Ask, ask, ask!

2. Wedding Websites. Many wedding websites allow you to search by wedding location to find recommended vendors. Many offer packages of choices for you to sift through -- some with pictures and websites to look at. Please keep in mind, however, that many of these spots are purchased ads. Therefore, while a great place to get vendor leads, make sure to use your own research. You can also find sites that allow brides to give honest reviews of vendors they have used, visited with or seen at another wedding, which will give you honest (and not paid) reviews.

3. Wedding Discussion Boards and Blogs. The Internet has become an amazing place to look for wedding vendors. Many wedding websites have bridal blogs and discussion boards that allow brides to chat about their experiences and share details about the vendors they have spoken to or used. Don't be shy to ask questions!

4. Wedding Magazines. There are many magazines that are created for specific geographic locations. Many feature local weddings, therefore if you flip through and find centerpieces you really like for instance, look in the picture credits. You might find that the florist featured is around the block.

5. Wedding Reception Location. Your wedding location should be the first thing that you choose when planning a wedding. This is probably your largest expense and will really set the tone for what you have left to spend on the rest of your vendors. This will also allow you to use your location as a resource. Ask your hotel, hall, etc. if they have a list of preferred vendors.
         Most places will have this. These vendors all have established relationships with your chosen location, which is very important. For example, a preferred photographer will be lighting-prepared and know the best shots to take in a specific location. Please keep in mind, however, that this should only be one component of your choice. Often, there can be other contributing factors (politics) as to why they have been added to this list. But, all in all, this is a good list to have and use.

While the above suggestions help in the direction of finding vendors, it is once you actually sit down with each that you will realy get a true opinion of them. Look at their pictures, hear demo tapes and call references, and remember, no bride is ever bothered to speak about her wedding!